As I dropped my 18-year old daughter off at a detox facility, I was battling many demons inside of myself, and tried as best I could not to cry in front of her. As the door closed behind me, the daughter I was leaving behind was not the 18-year old who was just arrested for three misdemeanors and one felony drug possession. Was not the daughter that was led out of the house by narcotics investigators and SWAT team members in handcuffs. The daughter whose beautiful hazel eyes were staring back at me while saying that she was going to be okay, was the five year old girl who held on to the door frame of her Pre-K classroom refusing to go in for the first two weeks and who threw up every day for the first month of school. Those were the same eyes looking back at me.
This entire episode in our lives has just begun and there are so many various components that have yet to reveal themselves, but the most obvious are those I didn't expect... Other than the journey of addiction, rehabilitation, relapse, incarceration, and court that she will be facing, she will also face prejudice.. I have no other way to describe it.
The following statements have rattled me more than anything else, frankly because there isn't a family out there who hasn't experienced addiction and all that comes with it...
- "When is enough money enough for THEM?"
- "She has access to unlimited amounts of cash..."
- "She has so much going for her - you Indians have it made."
- "She's going to have to learn the hard way for once in her life... money isn't going to buy her out of this."
- "She's spoiled... You Seminoles are in trouble..."
- "I knew it... I knew she had it too easy - you should have made her work for what she has."
- "Don't you guys have enough money?"
Prejudice is a direct result of ignorance. I must remember that so that the next person who voices such an opinion doesn't end up with a Size 9 embedded in their face.
First, let's look at this... We live in Naples, Florida - one of the most affluent counties east of the Mississippi. We are surrounded by people whose income has come from oil, cable companies, insurance companies, banking, the defense industry... you name it, BUT I have never judged their actions or character based upon what they have in their bank account. On the flipside... I also have many friends who have absolutely nothing and work hard everyday to find enough money to put clothes on their kids' backs and to keep them fed. I do not judge my friends and I do not care whether they have $5million dollars in cash or debt.
That being said, I have also seen many parents of incredible means bailing their children out of jail and unfortunately I have also witnessed way too many picking out their children's headstones. Their status in society and their bank account did not change their grief. Their status and bank account did not change their bewilderment when dealing with the cycle of addiction and all that comes with it... the lying, the criminal activity...
Drug addiction is an ill that all of us in America must face, I remind you that I have seen many of your children here at my house. So hug your children and ask questions and open your eyes and deal with it. Don't put it off for another day thinking they'll grow out of it or that it is a phase, like I did... They won't.
So as I sit back and digest the "Seminole comments" I sit back and pity your ignorance. I also thank you for keeping the fire of my spirit alive during these times. The warrior spirit of our native people cannot die and we are reminded that we live in a society ill-prepared to deal with us on our terms. I refuse to belittle myself or apologize for my daughter. It is what it is and we'll deal with this with our heads held high and the strength of our ancestors. That is why we are rich... we have the blood of warrior people flowing through our veins...
