GIVING THANKS 2011

Thanksgiving has always been a bit of a weird event in our household. I mean seriously, as an “Indian”, the season between Halloween and Thanksgiving is the busiest time of the year.  We could make a fortune by renting ourselves out. After all, we’re better than one of those tissue paper accordion pilgrims or turkey centerpieces! We talk! Can you imagine the invitation, “Please join the John Smith Family as they celebrate Thanksgiving with a real talking Indian at the table. RSVP early to guarantee a seat close to the Indian.”

Growing up we never celebrated Thanksgiving because we went to an annual Pow Wow in north Florida and an arts and crafts show in St. Augustine. We were always working.  My first real Thanksgiving was actually spent in college. A local family, I don’t remember who they were or how I managed the invite, invited me to dinner.  When I arrived, I realized that the family was looking beyond me and out into the driveway. They were looking for an “Indian Princess” who was coming to eat dinner with the family and friends.  I was like I don’t see a taxi from New Delhi in the driveway…  I figured it was not worth explaining the many flaws with what was said and expected.  After all, I really was underdressed…  a cotton mini-dress and sneakers… No leather, fringe, or feathers.  The first of many and not the last I let someone down by not wearing “my costume.”

Thanksgiving was always that holiday for other people.  Sometime in my early twenties things began to change and we began to celebrate Thanksgiving in my parents’ home.  It was nice to watch the parade and cook breakfast and then work on dinner. My mom and I always worked well in the kitchen together and my brother and dad always worked well at the table together!

As I began to explore the world of the conventional hallmark holidays, I started a family of my own. Eventually, once I got married, I spent the Thanksgiving holiday with my in-laws in Minnesota. I witnessed two of the nicest people in the world and their nine children, and all of their grandchildren and great-grandchildren, spinning around the family farm just happy and thankful to have each other.  It was all so normal.

Fast forward a few more years and a marriage that didn’t work, I am once again reinventing this holiday for myself and my family.  Although we have the menu sorted out and family invited, I feel the need to invent my own traditions. Watching the parade on tv, kicking it with my kids before the big dinner at my parents’ house.

So this is an evolutionary process…. So tomorrow after a walk on the beach and the parade, I’m going to give my kids my list of ten things I’m thankful for:

1.     My Children, Dakota and Brody (and Tommy – who has become one of my own).  I didn’t think I was going to be able to have kids. After all, I had two babies literally kicked out of me and enough surgeries to keep me alive that it was a miracle to carry them at all let alone to term.  So each one of my children defied all odds to be on this planet and I love them more than life itself.

2.     My Parents – the greatest parents in the world. Although they act like the Costanzas on Seinfeld, they exemplify what I want in life. I want to be committed to another person for 45-plus years. They have demonstrated to me that marriage is a work in progress. It is something that if taken for granted, will fail… like my own. Arlo and I began to live our lives for ourselves and not “us”.  His focus was never family and I only had two priorities… my kids and my parents. There was no room for him. My parents figured that “give and take” out and weathered the storms. I will do that next time if there is one…

3.     My Brother – sometimes we seem like light years apart, polar opposites… but when we talk without filter or without others getting in between we are usually of the same mind. OB had it rough… he is the younger brother to an incredibly over-protective, over-bearing sister who thought her parents brought her home a live baby doll to play with and nurture.  I never let him fight his own battles or choose anything for himself so he was lucky when I left for college and even more lucky when he decided not to follow me to Rollins. After 40-plus years together on this planet, we’re in sync BUT I still have to fight the urge to take on his battles and kick butt…

4.     My nieces and nephew (Bryce, Tori and OB III) – I am thankful to have them in my life because they are our future.  They are my responsibility. I am their aunt and am supposed to be their cultural guide. I have to do a better job.

5.     My Family – I am thankful for an incredibly large family. They are awesome. Even though we don’t always get along, we’re still Osceolas until the day we die.  Unfortunately most of us only get together for politics or funerals… same thing…  I want to do a better job! For my mom’s side of the family, I am thankful for their unconditional love and wisdom. My grandmother ROCKS!!  My Grandpa Yannaco was the best grandpa a kid could ever ask for. He took us for pizza on the first and last day of school every year. He was amazing! My grandfather and grandmother on my dad’s side of the family, were no joke.. they didn’t mess around! I loved them and have taken up their torch.

6.     My Sister and niece (Seminiole way) – Barbara Osceola and her daughter, Ciara are closer to me than anyone. Barbara was there for me when I was beaten so bad I couldn’t open my eyes. She was there without judgement but practiced tough love when she needed to and drug me out of a relationship that almost killed me.  We have a deal and are in this crazy world of our own together! I also can't forget her youngest daughter, Samantha, who for the very fact that she's alive and in our lives is a blessing!!

7.     Staci Eagle Elk and Casper Lomayesva are without a doubt my best friends. They have been there when no one else was. Staci stood up for me at her own risk and was my friend when being my friend wasn’t the popular decision to make; and Casper – well, he’s Casper. He’s special to my children and I!

8.     My Friends – I am so thankful to have friends in my life who make each day worth living. To make me realize that life is way too short! I have true friends all over this globe and although I see some more than others, I value all of you! King Roach… you are the best!

9.     Native Blood – I am so thankful  to be born a native person. The kinship I have with tribal leaders across this nation is truly special! I have a new outlook on the history of Thanksgiving because of my native family up at Mashpee Wampanoag!  Chairman Cedric Cromwell, Mark Harding, Paula Peters, Ramona Peters… you guys are as genuine as they get and thank you for showing me what first contact and colonialization did… up, close and personal.   Enough said there…

10. Thankful for the blessings God/Creator has bestowed upon me because not one of the nine things above had anything to do with money!

Happy Giving Thanks 2011 to all the people in my life – those who have just entered my life and those who have been there all along! I promise to be a better mom, daughter, sister, and friend this year because I am truly blessed!